Had enough of the colony today.

Well that’s not quite right, I just don’t belong here anymore. It looks familiar and I remember how it use to be, how it used to feel. But now the strangeness is back; something not quite right, something underhand, out of true, discordant with the day. In my walk to school I’m filmed from behind, (the audience see the doom but I pass through it) or there’s just a glimpse of me through the trees. It’s in the trees, it’s coming, then rustles and retreats as I crawl home. I know it’s there but I can’t see it watching me. I believe there’s no imminent danger, yet it drags down every footstep, every second of this minor chord existence, in this tumbleweed of detachment; this barren incomplete wandering.

I came home the adapted way over the fields to avoid the usual ephemera of people. I could see my breath for the first time in months. The sun rays bounced back off suburbia. Glistening normality and for a second the sky became the coastline and I found myself in a different county looking out to sea. The light changed and IĀ dropped back into the landscape. I knew there would be no peace with the clouds today, no point in watching. Irrelevant invisible observer – with no impact today. Unravelled myself carelessly back to the Shell and slipped into disintegration.


ended up in places I shouldn’t be.

nothing fits, the sense of unease gnaws away

the desolation seeps in.

Today – I feel the burn of the ice, I’m a long way from the ocean.

Here I am…